It is the beginning of the month. Yes, yes, I know the first day was actually Saturday but give me a little leeway please? I think this week will be a mixture of endings and beginnings. This means, it will be a ride…..
Today will see the removal of all the manufacturing equipment from our factory building. Although it hasn’t been used for a couple of months, it all feels very final. I have mixed feelings around this ending. It is sad that all of the hard work over many years has come to this but I just want it all to be over. You know, like when you have actually ripped the plaster off, you feel relief. I crave the relief.
I will also complete another task today. I can’t share the details because of confidentiality, but I can tell you, I really don’t want to do it and I am never doing it again. A celebration for this ending then….no sadness. Regret for not stopping doing this ‘thing’ sooner though!
There is then the old car going and the new car coming. Just for clarity, both cars are actually about the same age but the ‘old’ car can’t be towed by Joe so welcome to The Flea. Although on the surface of it, this is just changing a vehicle, however, it is actually another ending. The car going is Dad’s last car before it came to live with us. Dad loved his cars, he loved choosing them, pouring over the details and then driving them. However, I can’t say that this one was one of his favourites. The early stages of the dementia meant that he couldn’t remember how to use all the gadgets before he was stopped driving altogether and this made him frustrated. Still, it is another thing gone from that life.
I suppose all of this has made me reflect on the question of ‘are endings always bad or sad?’ I think perhaps there is usually at least a little sadness about an ending even if it is based on regret rather than grief. However, endings don’t have to be bad. In fact, most endings enable us to do new things, see life differently and bring relief. I know having this in my head has helped me through the last two plus years of turmoil and makes this week seem like a breeze in the endings game.