Where to start today…..I have one male neighbour wobbling on ladders affixing the flashing on part of his roof, with the one from the other-side (of our dwellin’ not life), digging to Australia, and ‘im indoors, outdoors washing his motorbike. The burning question is…..which one will hurt themselves first?
As a result of this suburban (fact check: we actually live in a village not suburbia but lets not split hairs) Sunday morning activity, I have scuttled indoors so that I don’t have to wipe up the blood later. I suppose it might not be blood, there could be burns, back injuries, blisters or broken toes (running the bike over a foot?). Y’get me drift though, and hopefully can see why I have retreated to the East Wing.
After the extensive renovations of our bungalow (I know, very 60’s), we indeed, do now have an East and West Wing. In the East, I have my study (I use the term a little loosely as it may be better described as a dump) and in the West, well we have the kitchen and my library. What are you laughing at? Every good village house with an East and West Wing has to have a library. However the other vital element of any country residence, the Butler (that comes with the property), needs a little more development, should we say (those who follow pip_mouse on X will be aware of how MUCH training the Butler needs!). Ooooo, I have just discovered that I can’t use an ‘@’ in front of pip_mouse or this programme won’t let me tripe anything else. Apparently it can’t find him (THE mouse) …..well here you are Substack! He lives……
Enough of the inane rambling, I hear you cry – where is the substance of your writings……well, at dinner last night, it was revealed that M & M have an open marriage. M was drunk (again) so her filters were off but, thankfully, nothing else. The beetroot risotto I had for my main was terrible – I left it and I NEVER leave food! As the conversation turned to 2025’s ‘Block the Roads Campaign’, there were differences of venues for the Easter break amongst the gathered ‘Tuggers’ and ‘Snails’. However, it can be announced that you may wish to avoid ‘God’s Own County’ on Maundy Thursday as everyone is heading to Yorkshire. Go Yorkshire!
OK, OK, life is very definitely ‘Nobody’ like at the moment. I am scraping the barrel for interesting subjects. Oh no, I forgot (how could I!) …..we have, only this morning ordered a milk separator. So neighbours, yes you on the roof and you digging like a frenzied German Shepherd, soon, if you are nice to ‘im indoors, you may get a slab of butter, homemade from milk procured from another local village. The excitement is all too much.
At this point, I will stop my outpouring of Nobody, Nothingness here in Ugly Derbyshire and go and join in the fun of village life. Tomorrow, in the plans are a trip to the Dump (the actually one not my study), a stop off at the farm to collect the milk (for the butter) and in the evening we have, Week 2 of the ‘Kay Learns How to Behave in a Classroom of People who Cannot be Offended: Better Known as Gen Z’ers.’