I have my last ‘outing’ of the week today and I should be really looking forward to it. However, just as I type this, I am not. As I was scribbling in my journal prior to popping in here, I reflected on why I didn’t want to leave my little burrow and meet up with two very old friends. I shared a maternity ward with one of them and all three of us were at school together. I haven’t seen one of them for a very long time so I should be really looking forward to this gathering.
As is the nature of my journal, I reflected on this feeling. To start with, I wondered if it was because I didn’t want to keep looking back and today will inevitably involve plenty of that. But no, I like a bit of looking back so it can’t be that. I quickly dismissed that I didn’t want to see my friends? I really like both and never feel uncomfortable with them.
Whilst I let my thoughts settle around why I didn’t want to go out, I reflected on the family gathering we had last night. I ate too much Chinese food but other than that it was fine. I listened to one of my nephews complain about how is employers don’t appreciate him and another one not being able to tell us about why he wants an apprenticeship in electrical engineering. He doesn’t even really know what electrical engineering is. One is ten years younger than the other one but both are still young and neither have been taught about truly thinking about their purpose. It is easy to say this from the reflections on many more decades of experience but it really highlighted the importance of giving ourselves the time to think creatively and honestly. The older one needs to stop obsessing about money and start working on what he really wants, the younger one, well he just needs to take a step back and asking himself about what he really likes doing rather than blindly letting careers advisors (and parents) point him towards the ‘safe’ career. Just my opinion, obs
Did this observation bring me to any conclusion about why I was shying away from leaving my nest today? Not directly other than, I realised that I had just been out in the world too many times this week, for me. It has been far too peoply. Most have been nice people but my people quota is way over full. You see, I am, at heart, an introvert. I love being amongst folk for short periods but I need to come back and recharge. This week, both mentally and physically has just been too full.
I will be going to see my friends and I am sure I will enjoy it but I know, after nearly sixty years of reflections and learning, I need much more doggy and nature time in the days ahead. Next weekend is scheduled to be a social one so much recharging before then is necessary.
