I like learning and, at the moment, I do a lot of my learning is through podcasts/audio books because, quite frankly, it is the only way I can access this need as we speak (or I type). I also increasingly believe that things are sent to us at certain times for a reason i.e. that is when we need it and our brains are willing to take on particular message.
So during my quest for knowledge and enlightenment, I have listened to multiple podcasts/ audio books recently which have emphasised the importance of friends in your life. The momentum of this message must have built up to tipping point this morning because when I heard a radio presenter (Chris Evans) talking about Trinny Woodall’s new book ‘Fearless’, which I understand has a really good chapter all about the importance of friends, I had a bit of a ‘ah, AHH!’ moment. But more on this a little further down my ramble.
Maybe because of the various podcasts and books, I have been thinking about my lack of time for friends recently as well as about the time I spend on being part of a tribe. My brain has absorbed these messages, although it was definitely sub/un-consciously. As this absorption has filtered in, I have wrestled with how to engage with friends, given that my time is very much sucked up by close family commitments and running a business.
When listening to the various experts, I have found myself talking back to the podcasts saying things like:
“Yes, yes, that is all very well but when do I get time to be with old friends and make new ones?”
As a result, I have put it to the bottom of my to do list because it felt too hard and it is ‘just socialising’ after-all, isn’t it?’ But the messages from all around me keep telling me to reconsider my position and my ‘ahh, AHHH’ moment was realising that I was making this issue to hard – I need to take my favourite guru’s advice again:
“Do or Do not Do. There is no try.” Yoda
Interacting with friends is very important and I need to take action soon, if I am not to lose the ones I have. If you know me, perhaps even consider me a friend, then brace yourself, I have a plan! All I have to do is contact one person each day for a very short period of time and that means I will get my boost from it and as a bonus, I don’t lose touch with anyone. I don’t have to invest loads of time but hopefully my buddies will be reminded that I do care about them and they, in return, keep me on their pals list until I can interact with them a little more.
Often, we think (well I do) that because you haven’t been in touch with people for a while, that they won’t want to know you anymore. You then (well I do) jump into that vicious circle of not contacting them because “they obviously won’t want to talk to me now after all this time, will they?” and/ or “well if they haven’t called me, why should I contact them?”
Well, hear me…..circle of viciousness – I am going to break you!
So, brace yourself world, I am coming back out of my shell. If you don’t want to interact with me when you receive my message or call, just don’t respond. I will soon get the message if you aren’t interested. But I have faith in you all, I know you are there.
For those of you who are thinking, “well there is no chance I am on Kay’s friend list so need for me to worry”, my message to you is:
a. If you feel that you want to be part of one of my tribes, then contact me and we can see where it heads.
BUT
b. You don’t need to be friends with me (I am not a great pick at the moment if I am honest) but you should perhaps consider your own distant/ remote friends and do something similar to me.
I think something else that has shouted at me from my observations of the many senior folk in my life is the following:
As you head into your late eighties your friends, however good you have been at keeping in touch, start to move off into the next stage of their journey. You know, they have been ‘Reaped’ by that ‘Grim’ fella. This means that if you are going to have enough friends when you are a big age, then you need to have a lot of them in earlier years so that at least some remain with you. It may also be useful to have a range of ages in your ‘team’ so that some of them are less likely to pop off too soon.
Right, where do I start…. Perhaps with the ‘a’s or should I work backwards? No, no. I am just going to pick who comes into my head today and go from there.
